Caraphernelia
by Gasphard Ulliel'd
Summary: There are two choices for Red-X: saving his relationship with Raven or saving his ego. He chooses the latter. Guess who's made the wrong choice? Not a songfic.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Teen Titans. I still own Red-X's secret identity because it's not Jason. And I do not own Caraphernelia; it belongs to Pierce The Veil.

_By the way, if anyone happens to read my previous RedxRae fanfic Fear, this has nothing to do with that. Not the sequel or anything; I finished this before I started writing Fear. But you'll still meet Matt :)_

_Anyway, enjoy. I hope the broken English doesn't make you vomit or anything. But in case that happens, here's a plastic bag._

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><p>"<em>Nobody prays for the heartless.<em>

_Nobody gives another penny for the selfish."_

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><p>"I'm tired, Rae," he finally uttered the honesty. He really was, and he wanted her to know. He had been holding the feeling for weeks and there was nothing that could stop him from telling her—his decision was made.<p>

Red-X was sitting on the edge of her bed. Her back flat against her headboard, leaning against the cold metal with her arms folded across her chest. The metal's coldness must seep through her t-shirt, but he bet the coldness was nothing compared to that cold look she was wearing.

He missed the old Raven. His old, sweet Raven, who through her unspoken words and undone actions could tell him how much she loved him.

She didn't look at him—she refused to do so, he knew, while he, although his eyes were hid behind that thick mask, was staring straight at her.

"Me too," she replied quietly after a short pause in the conversation.

He sighed lowly, not letting her hear that. He knew she was—there was always that coldness between them since weeks ago, and it had remained for too long. He wondered why both of them were tired of something that they thought they would be able to overcome at the beginning, and what hurt him the most was when he wondered if what made them tired the most was actually their relationship.

He didn't know what brought him to do that, but then he crawled toward Raven who was still deadpanning, sitting next to her. He could feel her skin against his costume—his costume was the only barrier that kept them that way; so close, yet so far. But he didn't have any choice—there was no way he could risk his position. There was nothing that could assure him that Raven wouldn't love him any less if she found out who he was.

"What are you tired of?" he inquired, softly. He wanted to add "Sunshine" at the end of his question, but it seemed inappropriate at that time.

She didn't reply him immediately. Another pause. "You go first—you were the first to admit that."

He sighed, again. If it were their normal fight he would argue that ladies should go first. But that argument had gone dry, just like their passion toward each other.

"Robin likes you," he breathed. He stated the obvious—everyone knew that, and Raven, above everyone else, would be the one to see it clearly. The old fight had dampened her empathy, but the obvious attention would surely tell her the truth. "I've seen enough of his efforts to get you."

"He's my leader. Besides, you're the one who doesn't want our status to be exposed—I've told you I would face the consequences, even when my friends would hate me later. But you didn't want it. You were afraid, weren't you?" she accused. Her voice was sharp, hitting his pride.

"No," he disputed. "I just didn't want to make you choose between me and your friends—I know they're more than just friends, they're family for you. So making them hate you wouldn't be an option."

"That's so wise," she said, not showing any expression to accompany the compliment.

"Rae," he gasped. This fight had gone serious, and it scared him. He didn't want them to be broken apart just because of a fight.

Raven sighed and shook her head. Red-X loathed serious moments like this. All that he wanted to do was cuddling and exchanging quips with her. But it was surely not the right time to do that. And perhaps, even when he didn't want to admit it if he could, there would be no right time to do that anymore.

He squeezed his eyes shut for a while before deciding that he could no longer act like a kid. It was a real relationship that he was in, and if it was about to end, he would face it like an adult.

He cleared his throat. "What are you tired of?" he asked, his voice sounded casual when his heart hammered his ribcage.

"You don't trust me," she admitted. She fixed her amethyst eyes on him, and even when she just stared at him like that, he felt like she could see through his mask, scrutinizing the emotion formed on his face. Again, he assured himself that Raven was no longer an empath. "We've been together for almost two years now and I still have never seen your face. You still can't trust me with your identity, and for these past few months you kept convincing me that you would unmask yourself, someday. When's someday? It never comes."

Red-X swallowed—his throat was dry that it hurt when the fluid passed through it.

"I'm sorry about that," he apologized and he meant it. The last time he asked for one's forgiveness sincerely felt like it was long ago. "There are some things that I can't show you just yet. But Raven, I trust and love you more than anything."

"Then prove it," she said. Flat and cold. "I know I sound demanding, Red. But I've never even seen a glimpse of effort coming from you about it."

Red-X knew that, because truth was, there was no effort he could make. If he wanted to show her his face, he could right now. But what good would it bring? The person behind his mask wasn't better than the identity he was wearing right now.

He eyed Raven, and saw that perhaps nothing could save their relationship but showing his secret identity to her. And he wasn't going to do that anytime soon. He wasn't ready.

A part of himself told him that he was juvenile. That he was a coward. But he didn't care. He probably was.

_It's the end_, a voice in his head whispered to him. He bit his lower lip.

If it was, he wanted one last kiss.

Another part told him to not do that, but another part insisted on the idea as his eyes fixed on Raven's pale lips.

He failed in holding himself back, so he lifted his mask to the bridge of his nose. He kissed her, pressing his lips against her and playing those soft lips before slipping his tongue into her mouth. It was a usual kiss, led by the expert in kissing; Red-X. But this time it was different—Raven's normally passive tongue was even more passive. It stayed there, not bothering to try kissing him back. He tried his best to lure her into kissing him back, but no matter how hard he tried, she just stayed still. Her hands didn't wrap his neck or his shoulders the way they usually would. Her body was rigid, unenthusiastic—he could feel it clearly as he tightened his arm around her hips.

Now he saw what stage of romantic relationship that they were at, even when he didn't want to ever reach that stage.

Red-X pulled himself away and murmured the question he'd never expected to ask, "Is this... the end?"

His faint voice showed that he didn't want that, hoping Raven would at least be able to trace that.

Raven stayed silent, her face didn't leak any emotion when he wished it would. Those amethyst eyes then swept his face, as if wanting to absorb as much information as they could from the skin he revealed. He felt somehow naked, vulnerable. There were times that Raven could make him feel that way even just by eyeing him. And as much as he hated that feeling, he couldn't object when it was Raven who made him feel that way.

They stayed in that position for quite a long time, more than a minute, without Raven answering his question. Silence between them was awkward.

Red-X eventually took the hint that was implied by the silence, clutching Raven's hands for seconds while her eyes were on their hands. She still said nothing.

He wanted to yell at her so she'd speak to him. So she'd tell him not to leave, because she still needed him. Because it wasn't the end.

But it didn't happen.

He insincerely rested Raven's hands on her thick blanket while he rolled his mask down, feeling the fabric as it covered his nose, then his mouth, then his chin, and finally meeting his costume, covering his exposed skin entirely.

"I've never wished to say goodbye to you, Rae," he confessed. His voice was filled with pain.

"I wish there was another way," she whispered back. Her tone was monotonous, but when he didn't expect it any longer because most of the times his hopes turned out to be futile, this time her voice leaked more. The tone, even when it was flat, was edged with pain.

He'd hurt Raven. Now his pain felt doubled when he thought it couldn't get any worse.

Another moment of silence before he decided it was time to go. He'd worn out his last welcome.

Retreating from the bed, he stared at Raven for one last time. Her pale gray skin, her amethyst eyes, her silky hair he used to play with every night. She was petite—much shorter than him that he was glad he'd never have to kiss her while they were standing up because they'd never gone to any real date. That signature emotionless face reminded him a lot of their first kiss—when that face was, for the first time in his life, no longer emotionless. Natural blush colored her cheeks and she looked embarrassed, like she wasn't meant to do that, but he assured her that she deserved to be loved.

He remembered the day he promised her that he'd keep her safe, that he'd never hurt her. That was the day that the fights between them began to be nothing but a play—Raven sometimes slipped out of control that he got really thrown against a wall by a painful blow and she had to heal him later that night, but he didn't mind. He remembered the day when he told her that he'd someday marry her, that they'd live happily until the end of their lives, with or without kids. He remembered the day when they first made love. She was nothing compared to the girls he'd ever slept with before, but he didn't care. No matter how unskilled she was, that moment was the happiest moment of his life.

But now it was the end. He couldn't do what she asked just yet—he was afraid. So he had to leave.

Red-X exhaled heavily through the cloth, feeling it was hard to jump out of the window. He knew it would be the last time he would have to go through that window so that the other titans wouldn't notice his presence under their shelter.

"Goodbye, Rae." His voice sounded frail, distant. He turned his head while the other parts of his body faced the window, ready to climb it. "I wish you well in the future."

"You too, Red," she responded, still sitting motionlessly on her bed. Eyes were focused on him and he'd give anything in the world just to know what she was thinking as she did that. Did she inwardly scream for him to not go? Did she want him to stay for another night with her? "Take care of yourself."

Red-X smiled bitterly although he knew that Raven wouldn't be able to see that. He took the last chance to peer at her, memorizing the shapes of those amethyst eyes, the curved body, the emotionless face, and the lips he used to kiss, hoping the memories would stay forever in his head and never perish. It seemed that no matter how many times he'd stared at her, it was never enough.

After those last seconds, he eventually moved, climbing up the windowsill reluctantly before jumping out of the T-tower. He left that memorable place, perhaps forever.

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><p><em>Don't be shy to give me any suggestions. I don't bite if you write negative (not hate) reviews :)<em>


	2. Chapter 2

"_Sunshine, there ain't a thing that you can do that's gonna ruin my night."_

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><p>Assuring himself to move on was one hell of a task. It wasn't easy. And worse, it couldn't be solved by logic, no matter how clever a Red-X was.<p>

Memories of her still spun in his head, and he seemed unable to get them out of his mind. They were intoxicating, leaving him with question whether that night they broke up was real or not. Then the questions grew; he wasn't even sure if those night he'd spent in the T-tower, not to pull a prank on the titans or steal anything from them, but to have Raven on his arms were actually real. Those nights seemed so far away now—as if it happened years ago, not days ago or weeks ago or months ago.

He felt sick every time he recalled her—hanging between reality and memories. Those passive lips and her hoarse, deep voice, and simply everything about her were impossible for him to remember without an escort of the stinging pain that went down his spine. It hurt—he didn't want to feel the pain that wasn't supposed to be there, because he was supposed to move on. But the pain still stubbornly lingered, reminding him that if he wasn't so selfish and cowardly, he wouldn't lose Raven at the first place.

But heck, Raven was his past. She broke up with him. He wasn't some desperate gruesome guy who'd be that broken just because of a girl. He was Red-X, the notorious thief. He was Matthew Voltair. Girls wanted him.

Striving for a girl, especially a titan, wasn't his style. He had to move on. He had to.

But inside, he knew he didn't want to. As much as he hated to admit it, he couldn't lie to himself.

He sighed again as he opened the door to his balcony, trying to assure himself that he was ready to face the night. It was the first day he worked again since he broke up with Raven a week ago—the whole week was wasted on him being an alcoholic jerk again, playing with those pretty girls in the bars. He even bought himself a new Ferrari, speeding with it through the winding road of the hill so that he could forget his aching chest for a while. But he couldn't stay that way—he was Red-X, the thief, the enemy of Teen Titans. He would make his comeback, no matter what; even when he knew he would have to face Raven again. He only made a wish that he wouldn't have to face her in one-on-one. Not within this month, at least.

If it happened, he wouldn't know what to say. He'd lost his quip when it was against Raven—at least when there were other titans he could make fun of any of them but her.

Red-X felt the wind going through the tiny holes of the fabric of his costume. He made sure everything was right, that he'd concealed his identity flawlessly. Nobody knew who Red-X really was, not even his father, who also happened to be the richest man in the city. He wouldn't let any of the titans reveal his identity, not that easily.

His target for the night was the newest collection of the museum. Apparently, the disappearance of the famous thief for the whole week had assured them that it was safe to put their new valuable things into the exhibition again. Stupid.

He was just on hiatus, healing his broken heart temporarily, but it didn't mean he was gone forever. Who would be the witty thief if he was gone? No. Red-X was back, and he would get that necklace. Nothing could ever prevent him from getting everything that he wanted.

He worked fairly fast that night. The plan went as smooth as expected. No alarm was damaged during the heist. No one was hurt—not even the titans. Normally, he'd wait for them to come just to add some fun to the whole heist. But this time, he was glad they didn't come.

All that he wanted to do by pulling the heist was to show the city that Red-X would never disappear, and to show Raven that he was still as strong as normal. That he was still the old Red-X. That their breaking up didn't change a thing.

He praised himself inwardly as he teleported himself to a rooftop. The success wasn't an expected one since his heart was still aching and his mind refused to think of anything but Raven. But Red-X was Red-X—his scheme was perfect, his motion was soft and careful as a cat. So there, the necklace was safely lying in his pocket.

He sat on a big pipe, pulling out his thievery reward for that night out of his secret pocket carefully. He admired the gleaming beauty which came from the gem, the amethyst which was the pendant of the expensive necklace. That color always reminded him of the girl he loved dearly, and it sent a question into his head, about why the titans didn't stop him, as normal.

He suddenly missed the fight he had with her now, even when he didn't expect it to happen; how he always threw the tape to shut her mouth up so that she couldn't murmur a mantra to stop him. He found her glare amusing whenever that happened.

That was also the reason why he chose to finally answer his curiosity by coming to her room intensively, knowing there was a spot of weakness in the T tower's security system, only to watch her as she slept. He then found that serene face she had as she was sleeping was also as addictive as the face she showed him when they were fighting.

Shortly, everything about her suddenly became such an addiction to him, more than the heroine that he had ever tried once. He suddenly found a part of himself was attached to her unintentionally, and there was a binding feeling that made him unable to resist the temptation to talk to her. That was why he risked his life by speaking to her in her room—he almost died because of her sudden attack. That was the angriest Raven he'd ever seen. But even when it was hard, his skill finally brought him to win her acceptance. Friendship wasn't as difficult when it came to her, no matter what people always thought of Raven. He found her amusing and incredibly smart—the smartest girl he'd ever found, that he could talk about anything with her. If intelligence could attract people, Raven was surely one of the best examples for that.

Her voice was even more attractive to him, especially when those lips were parted not to murmur some spells. Shortly after that, he became completely defenseless against the feeling that grew in an instant, that he attempted on anything to make her look at him, although he knew he was just this criminal who she and her friends always wanted to jail.

Reminiscence of him trying so hard to get her until he finally got the consent to land a kiss on her cold lips for the first time while gazing on the necklace in his hand, shining under the city lights.

"You're not getting away as fast as I thought," a voice behind him said. The voice that made the hair on the nape of his neck rise.

Red-X was surprised, instinctively putting the gem back into his pocket. He turned back, facing the girl whose emotionless face he missed the most. His heart beat fast, and at the very same time, hurt. She flew toward him, her hood was on that he couldn't see her facial expression yet he was pretty much sure that she was deadpanning as normal.

But a part of him—a part that he always thought was stupid—wished that she was trying to cover her sorrow with that hood.

He did a backflip, creating a distance between them. Standing too close to her might result in his hands aching with the wanting to touch her silky skin.

"Hey, Sunshine," he forced his voice to sound as cheerful as he could. "Alone?"

"My friends are busy, but if you miss them, they're on their way," she replied him coldly. "But if you want to save us the trouble, you can give me the necklace back. Now."

He chuckled. "Raven, Raven," he said, entertained by the way she threatened him. "Are you really expecting me to give back the necklace just because you patronize me like that? If that's the only thing that it takes to make me do so, I wouldn't be a thief."

She moved her lips, was about to mutter the right spell, but he was hastier, pulling out the tape and throwing it on her. He was great in calculating how she would evade the tape, and as she tried to fly aside, thinking the tape would go straight to her mouth at her previous standing place, the tape went right to her mouth, gluing her lips. He knew she would automatically go to the left—being with her for a year did teach him something, if not many things, about her. She was getting angry, moving her hands toward her mouth to remove the tape, but he anticipated that by throwing another tape, the bigger one, to wrap her whole body. She lost her balance, and he directly dashed toward her, catching her before she hit the ground.

Now she was on his arms.

_Shit_, a voice in his head cursed. He didn't know why he did that—touching Raven was fatal, the most fatal mistake he could ever make.

Now he didn't think he was capable of letting her go.

"I didn't know you could be this weak, Raven. I expected something more from you, and you've turned me down. What a disappointment," he smirked within his mask, being defiant against the feeling that started taking over his logic. If he succumbed to his feeling, he would have brought her away, teleporting to his place which he had never showed her before. He would capture her for a moment, watching her being that near to him, just to ease his broken heart. But he couldn't—his pride as this thief was more precious than his feeling. "Anyway, happy struggling with the tape. Let's hope your friend will be able to find you here."

Those amethyst orbs glared at him again as she produced muffled sound, angry. God, how he wanted to kiss those lips that moved beneath that red tape.

_Self-control. Self-control._ He repeated that thought over and over again in his head.

Red-X set her down on the ground, very carefully and insincerely as if wanting to feel every second of it, that she lied flat on her back. She still struggled violently, like a worm in a cocoon, wanting to break free and become a butterfly. He recorded that into his memory even when he knew it was impossible to forget that pinpricking pain in his chest.

He quietly sighed as he realized he couldn't just stay there and watch her. He had to go.

He chuckled then, full of mockery, before teleporting himself back to his place with the necklace in his pocket.

He was winning tonight. But no, the victory didn't make him feel satisfaction like how he should feel.

He entered his room through the balcony door. His room was dark and cold, everything was at its place since his servants cleaned and tidied his room up every morning. He sighed again, turning on the bright yellow lamps.

He threw himself across his bed, moaning a little since an invisible knife had stabbed his heart due to the fresh memory of Raven. He cursed himself inwardly—he didn't want to be such a melancholic guy by thinking that she was the one and that he would never be able to get her out of his mind, but what else could he convince himself with, when the reality pointed out that it was the truth?

He loved her. He loved her so much.

And it wasn't like he could go out and find another Raven. She was irreplaceable.

Anger grew within him—he was a strong thief and nothing could beat him. What would the world say if the thief was broken just because of a girl? Especially when the girl was Raven, a titan. The world would laugh its ass off. Silly him, he shouldn't have let her seize his heart fully. But it wasn't like he got the power to save even the smallest bit of his heart from Raven.

That girl was too adorable. He couldn't help but to love her with all that he had.

All that he had but his pride. His ego. His selfishness.

Now that he'd chosen his ego over her, he had to forget her. He had to. He promised himself that he would, sooner or later, erase Raven from his mind. Time would hopefully heal.

His eyes flickered to the clock which was hanging on the white wall. It was still 1 AM. Normally, he'd reach home at 2 or 3, when it was too late to do anything. But the titans didn't give him any worthy fight.

He guessed that they were busy catching some bank burglars who'd recently caused some troubles. And what they did was sending the person he wanted to meet the least and it worsened the pain in him—those titans were sometimes being genius without even realizing it. Beating Raven in a fight was the easiest since he knew her weaknesses and that made his work that night a fast one—yet the pain that caused by the meeting lingered.

He unmasked himself, revealing the pale skin, messy brown hair, and a pair of fierce light blue eyes. He resembled his father, Drake Voltair the businessman, but he had his mother's hair instead of the neat blonde hair. That face usually had a naughty smirk attached—the smirk that was simply irresistible for the girls around him. But that night that face was an expressionless one, the one which tried hard to send the pain down below.

_I have to move on,_ he reassured himself. He threw his mask onto the bed and took the proof of his victory out of his pouch, adoring its every gleaming surface before pushing it back into the pocket. He left his bed and walked toward his closet, pulling out his favorite t-shirt, a jacket, and a pair of faded black jeans.

He changed his clothes and hid all of his costume attributes in the secret wardrobe behind the closet wall.

He then grabbed his cell phones, wallet, and car key from his table and walked, heading toward his door. It was when he was stopped by the mirror—he checked his appearance and realized he looked gloomier than he'd expected. He tried to curl his lips into a smile that he usually pull to trap those naïve girls in the bars or city center. It wasn't as easy for him, apparently, since he hadn't formed that kind of smile for a while—he'd never used it to flirt on girls anymore since the day he decided to stop cheating on Raven, and it was already three months since that day. He tried several times until he found the right way to do it and he ensured himself one more time that he didn't let the sign of his heartache look as palpable as before.

_Sunshine, you cannot have my heart forever. You won't ruin me,_ he thought as he watched his reflection staring back at him on the sleek surface of the mirror.

He walked out of the room after that, walking down the empty hallways of his massive house. His destination was clear; it was the place he used to go when he needed some kind of entertainment, out of his job as a thief. He wanted real entertainment, not some more booze. He needed entertainment that could surely please him—girls. Or hot girls, to be exact.

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><p><em>Thanks for reading! :D<em>

_By the way, the song's lyrics really have the "sunshine" part. One of the reasons why I chose to write Red-X and Raven on this song._

_And I'm sorry for Fear readers, there's writer's block and assignments impeding my creativity right now. So instead, I'm finishing this shorter fic first. Unlike Fear, it has the whole story written already, so the only thing I need to do is editing and changing things a bit. But I promise I will finish Fear ;)_


	3. Chapter 3

_"Don't mind me, I'm just reaching for your necklace."_

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><p>The same old routines were always repeated, almost every day for more than a month. His life was dull. Every morning, if not afternoon, he would wake up groggily, dragging himself lazily out of his bed. He spent the rest of the day trying to stay awake, gulping cups of coffee. He attended his law classes as a normal student, trying to get his degree to make his perfectionist father proud. Then, when the night came, he would play dress up with his costume, and steal things. And if he could get away from the titans fast, he would go to the clubs and drink his night away, or sometimes he would catch some random girls into his trap, then make love with them. His life had never been volatile; there were no surprises—the titans were as weak as they always were and the girls had never played hard once they knew his name—Matthew Voltair, the son of the richest man in town. Everything was too easy to get, and he got bored to death already.<p>

What also made his life the same everyday was the pain. The same pain that still lingered since the day they broke up, it remained static, staying within him like a leech, sucking his life a bit by another. He swore if he found someone who said, "Time will heal," he'd smack them in the face until their teeth fell off their jaw.

_Raven, Raven, Raven, Raven,_ his head repeated the same name as he was lying on his bed, trying to fall asleep. He didn't go to the bar or club again that day, since all bars and clubs were all the same; tedious and stagnant. Nothing changed. Nothing offered something that he wanted—a girl with cryptic beauty and splendid brain.

He wanted to scream that name, badly. Why wouldn't she get out of his head?

He knew she'd probably already forgotten him. It could be easy for her; she had Robin around her. Who wouldn't want to be with that boy? The leader of the famous Teen Titans. Her leader. Matt sighed—girls wanted Robin madly, just like how the alien girl wanted that Batman's sidekick.

Matt got really annoyed. The case was normally reversed—it was Robin who always dreaded his presence as the notorious thief, obsessing over putting Red-X behind the bars. But this time, imagining Raven on that traffic light costumed guy's arm made him grit his teeth. He could feel the rage reaching its summit within his chest when he imagined that kid trying to steal kisses from Raven, or just asking her to go on some dates. Something inside his chest twisted painfully. He recognized that feeling as jealousy.

_Stupid! I cannot keep remembering her anymore. She's a titan, I'm the thief, _his head scolded him.

He sighed. 2.30 AM. It had been one hour since he lied on his bed, trying to close his eyes and catch some sleep. He just couldn't. It was getting harder and harder to get to sleep everyday—his brain worked all the time, shouting Raven's name and playing the images of him and her, like a patchwork of their relationship.

He couldn't hold himself anymore, jumping out of his bed. He missed her too badly and it had surpassed his limit.

He immediately had his costume on and teleported himself to a spot nearby the T-tower. He knew precisely where Raven's room was, as he'd constantly gone there for years. It wasn't difficult for him to climb onto her window, avoiding the places which had censors.

He hung on the thick rope which supported his body, circling around his hips. It was the only support he had, and if that tool was broken, he knew he would die, falling from such height. But it was what his life was about—taking risk and getting so close to the death.

He didn't plan on staying there for too long—he just really wanted to see her. Even a glimpse was fine. He just wanted to make sure that she was alright and if she slept tight despite the absence of his arm around her.

As expected, Raven was sleeping peacefully, if not exhaustedly, and he just stayed there, observing her with care. Her serene face as she was sleeping reminded him of the nights he spent by having her sleeping on his arm or his torso—she fell asleep after the long conversation that they'd had.

Red-X smiled under his mask, envisaging things; if he could get her back to him, he would do anything to spice up their relationship, and he would try to be the most romantic man in town, no matter how cheesy the idea sounded. And if he really could get her back he would make the greatest romance story in the world history; he didn't mean the kind of temporary romance he usually had with any beautiful girl he could meet in the bars and clubs—he meant the real romance, and he would be really loyal to her. He knew the torment of losing her hurt that much—if he had a choice he sure didn't want to go through the same pain again.

But the real reason why they broke up wasn't that simple—it wasn't something that he could solve by merely being romantic. It was because he couldn't show her his real identity as the son of the famous billionaire—that fact erased the dreams from his head.

He would never want Raven to know that he was just this stupid boy who spent his father's money on drugs, alcohols, and girls. His reason to secrete his identity was because he didn't want Raven to see him differently—that news about him getting drunk and acting inappropriately in the newspaper would surely decrease his value in her eyes. He just wanted to get some time to alter his way of life, proving to the public—and to the press, of course—that he could change and grow up to be a real mature man. That he could no longer rely on alcohols anymore. When that time came and he was sure his name was clean from anything related to drugs and liquors, he would finally show her who he really was. That was the real plan—but his change took too long and Raven was tired of waiting. She couldn't wait forever for the man who she thought didn't believe in her.

Red-X regretted his stupidity. If he could change faster, everything that ruined their relationship wouldn't have happened, and at this time he would see himself there, in her room, hugging her and sending her some warmth as she dreamed about him.

He sighed. It was too late now—he'd gone back into his old habits, playing girls and drinking. One thing that he promised to himself not to ever touch again was the drugs. But he was, again, back to being this wealthy kid who had everything—the shallow-minded playboy Raven would detest if she knew who he really was.

He spent around 2 hours to just stare at her, ignoring the fact that he was only holding on a rope. When the sky slowly shifted from utter darkness to bluish purple, he reluctantly ended what he was doing, going back to the mansion in weariness.

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><p><em>Thanks for reading and reviewing! Much appreciated :D I lurv you guys! 3<em>

_Anyway, does anyone know how beta-reading works? I'm thinking of sending my next work to beta-reader first before uploading to reduce the risk of you all getting headache due to my poor grammatical skill. Thanks!_


	4. Chapter 4

_"And baby, honestly it's harder breathing next to you, I shake."_

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><p>It had been another month since the last time he went to the T-tower to watch over her. He missed her, still, but he managed to control himself for the whole month and he was proud of that. However, to distract his mind from her, he kept using his old friend—alcohol. Bars and girls were still his constant companies, too.<p>

In the afternoon, he would do normal things boys at his age would do—going to uni. He ended up being drowsy all the time in the lectures, sometimes even with the trace of hangover lingering in his head, but he still could make straight A's without having to work that hard. And after having his classes he would usually go to the café, playing cool while sipping his coffee. He wouldn't give his number when some girls wanted to know more about him, simply because he'd got bored already with the messages and phone calls that he'd received.

He was about to enter his favorite café that evening when he saw a familiar face through the full-length windows. Raven. She was sitting in the corner, reading a fairly thick book with her hood on—a hint that she didn't want to be disturbed. Strands of the bob purple hair jutted out of the fleece-lined hood. She had a cup of chamomile in front of her; he noticed the drink without having to look into the cup since he recalled her favorites best.

Since she couldn't identify his face, he easily walked into the café and chose a place where he could watch her furtively. He ordered his favorite—a cup of sweet cappuccino, and pulled out some law textbooks to show everyone that he was just an ordinary law student, studying in a café.

He peeped on her as many times as he could, spending not more than five seconds on each peep because he was afraid she'd become aware of a stranger who constantly paid attention on her. And not only her, he needed to secrete that activity from the groups of girls that were peeping if not staring at him too.

Another titan who then entered the café absorbed everyone's attention—not because the titans didn't really wander around the town, but because this one was really an attention-grabber. Girls adored him—he'd ever been in few magazines. And by having all the attention on him, that meant having Matt Voltair's attention too.

Matt, unintentionally, gritted his teeth in rage, but he managed to hastily bend his head back down, pretending like he was reading when Robin passed his table.

Robin walked straight to the table on the corner, ignoring the girls' attention at all. Those girls then preferred to gossip on the handsome brunette nerd who was studying with the company of a cup of cappuccino. Matt heard them, but also ignored them.

Robin sat across her in that booth, waiting for Raven to tilt her head up and look at him. He ordered hot chocolate before speaking to her.

"Like the book?" he inquired, smiling.

"Very much," Raven smiled coolly, pushing her hood back. The smile that Matt would die for—he still surreptitiously glanced at them.

Avoiding the jealousy was one problem, so he lifted his textbook to cover half of his face.

"I thought you were sleeping," she continued.

"I was," he nodded. "But I wouldn't miss my first chance, Rae."

"Robin, you know I can't," she went straight to the point. "This is just like meeting a friend for me—do not misunderstand me."

"I know," he dryly smiled. "But at least I want to give it a shot."

"You've been saying that for months," she was amused.

"That's true, but… Rae, some people are just not easy to forget."

"You can try," she monotonously said. "Or you can find a replacement—Starfire, perhaps?"

"Why always her?" Robin disliked the idea.

"Because everyone knows she likes you," she shrugged. "Maybe she's too naïve to admit that, but you can see how she behaves when you're around."

"I'm too busy to notice how she behaves around me," he confessed, "just like the way you're too busy to see how I behave around you."

"I see it, clearly. I just don't give it… a proper reaction," she bluntly answered. She disliked having to speak the truth, but Robin wouldn't understand if she didn't spill the honesty.

"Right," he bitterly sighed. "Why, Rae? There's another guy I've lost to?"

She didn't reply to that question, falling into silence. Love told her not to lie, but wisdom told her the otherwise.

"Sorry," Robin immediately apologized, knowing he'd gone too far with that question. "I… shouldn't ask you that."

"Let's change the topic," she suggested uncomfortably.

Matt watched them carefully, even when he couldn't hear what they were talking about. He was dying to be there, on Robin's position, telling Raven about his day in the university was, and then he'd hear her telling him about the books she recently read.

Then Robin cleverly grabbed the control of the situation again, using his charisma. He told her an inside joke that the titans usually had, making her laugh; the laughter that Matt really missed.

Matt couldn't stand it anymore. He chugged his cappuccino and then grabbed all of his books, pushing them into his branded bag. He should get home and take a hot shower to clear his mind before he burst out in anger and tried to choke the titans' leader.

* * *

><p><em>A very short chapter. But it's already halfway through the story. Anyway, if any of you ever wonder why I wrote this story, the answer is just because I liked torturing them both.<em>

_PS: Sorry for the mixed POV. It should be third person POV limited which granted me access only to Red-X's head. But it was written before I learned about it, so yes, it turned out to be a little mixed with third person omniscient._


	5. Chapter 5

_"What if I can't forget you?"_

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><p>He landed on the rooftop with a quiet thud, panting. He got to his feet and managed his breath before his smiled triumphantly. He'd made it, again. The titans lost him, and he couldn't feel better than when he saw Robin shout angrily at him. It was all that he wanted—for Robin to get frustrated. For Robin to feel what he felt, despite different reasons.<p>

He sighed. Getting away from the titans was no longer exciting anymore if it wasn't for that part. They were static; their movements were predictable. Starfire with her green energy spheres he could easily dodge. Cyborg with his gun, and he couldn't fly with that heavy half-robot body, making it effortless for Red-X to play with him. The silly changeling with inappropriate form-shifting. And Robin with his staff.

Red-X shook his head, imagining how Robin was actually the former user of the suit he was in. Unbelievable.

He reached for his pocket, retrieving the pouch full of diamonds. He admired it for a while before pushing it back into his pocket. He was about to teleport himself back to his house when a voice startled him—again.

"Not so fast, Red-X." The only titan who wasn't in the jewelry store before was there, flying within a black energy ball, just as high as the rooftop he was on.

He went pale. _Not again_, he thought. Why did it have to be her who always caught him, alone? Why not the pretty alien, since she could fly too, or possibly the green boy with his stupid pterodactyl form? Why Raven?

Raven didn't give him any chance to say hello or flatter her, immediately jumped to the business. She tossed the black spheres that he had to perform a backflip. She growled, attacking again and again. He leaped here and there until he got the chance to teleport himself to the left side of her. Before she noticed where he teleported himself, he flung the two tapes he always used on her, and he successfully paralyzed her. The first X shut her mouth and the second wrapped her body.

She fell onto the ground, powerless—she wildly glared at him, struggling. He knew she loathed his way of defeating her—she'd ever told him that. And since that day he'd never used those tapes on her again, because he knew, every night after he used it on her, her skin would have the red marks and sometimes bruises. But that was when either Raven or him didn't take the fight seriously, so he knew it would be safe even if he wasn't using the tape to shut her up. Because he knew she wouldn't chant a mantra that would hurt him that bad.

But now it was different. They'd broken up. She was his enemy again, and she'd do whatever necessary to stop him. He had no choice.

He faked a chuckle, landing on the rooftop perfectly. He walked toward her and crouched down in front of her.

"Losing again, Sunshine?" he mocked. Raven was lying sideways at him, her eyes feral with hopes of strangling him. Strands of purple hair fell on her cheek and he had to fight the urge to tuck them behind her ear.

Just by seeing those amethyst eyes, though, he then unexpectedly lost the control he'd built with all that had. He usually met those eyes when he was about to kiss her, and that memory tortured him.

Then, an abrupt idea popped there in his head.

"Let me help you sit," he playfully said. "Let's have some talk, shall we? I'm bored since you guys never give me… decent fight."

He assisted her to sit, which she tried to refuse but she couldn't since the tapes made moving almost impossible. He still crouched down, their eyes at the same level as she already sat. She was sitting in an uncomfortable position; both her legs were glued to one so she had to sit mermaid style.

"Oh, I forgot. If I let you speak you'll chant a spell on me," he chuckled.

Seeing those angry eyes made it harder to act like he was alright. Talking playfully when he hid behind the mask was no longer effortless—it hurt so much remembering she used to be his. The lips behind the tape had ever been his to kiss.

Then, he found the urge to kiss her was too hard to resist, so he pulled his mask to his nose and he stole a kiss from her, despite the tape which was still gluing her mouth. He secured her head by cupping his hand, one on the back of her head and another on the small of her back. He didn't care what Raven was thinking of him—he was always selfish anyway, so there was nothing to lose.

He pressed his lips against the tape, feeling ashamed of his inability to hold his emotions, yet it was too painful for him to not do that. He felt her passive lips behind the tape, committing the shape to his memory, as he knew it would be the last time he'd ever have that chance—if Robin knew, he believed as a commander and as someone who loved Raven, Robin would never let Raven run after Red-X by herself later.

After a full minute of brushing his lips on hers and hearing her failed speech, "mm—mm—"while trying to refuse the kiss, he terminated the kiss, trying to obtain his self-control back. He ignored her shocked face, those widened amethyst eyes.

"What if I can't forget you?" he breathed when he was still so close to her, that their breath met. He leaned his forehead against hers.

He understood that she couldn't answer his question with that tape, and he actually didn't expect a reply. He just needed her to know his feeling, which he couldn't hold anymore. He felt like he could explode at anytime—it was too long and too hurtful as he'd been keeping his feeling to himself.

He sourly smiled, taking few steps aback from her to create quite a distance between them.

"Forget what I said, Rae," he demanded, not acting like he was this playful Red-X anymore. "I know I should live with the consequences—we've broken up because of my fault. You're with Robin anyway, right?"

Her eyebrows were furrowed—he couldn't decode what the look on her eyes meant, but he took that as a yes.

He pulled his mask down so that she couldn't see him wincing and his lips forming the bitter smile.

"Well, congratulations," he told her, trying to sound sincere but he failed miserably. The pain in his chest was too much to be covered—he couldn't, albeit the great acting skill he owned. "I hope you two will last forever."

It was the biggest lie of the century—there was no way he could ever let anyone else be by her side, especially the bird boy, who was also his enemy. No one but him.

"Just so you know, you're still my heroin, Rae, my addiction—maybe I'll never be able to get over you."

He hadn't cried for more than ten years now, but now he really felt like crying—he didn't care when his mind told him that he was such a sensitive pampered idiot. He wished she knew how painful it was to love her and lose her when he'd gone through the taste of having her.

Those amethyst eyes were still fixed on him, still being incomprehensible, as he pushed the button to teleport himself away from her.

* * *

><p><em>Teehee. My comment on previous chapter sounds cruel, but that's true. :P Torturing my characters is one of my trained abilities.<em>

_Anyway, two more chapters until the end. :) Read and reviews? Thank you! :D_


	6. Chapter 6

_"Just give her back to me_

_You know I can't afford the medicine that feeds what I need"_

* * *

><p>Of course, that man wouldn't sell his favorite dream-catcher for any number of dollars. Matt's motto was, if he couldn't get what he wanted by purchasing it with money, then stealing it was the option he'd had a nightmare about Raven again—it had been five months since he broke up with her, and the ache remained unchanged, still. The scene when she kissed Robin was pictured clearly in his sleep and he couldn't stand it anymore—that was why, he decided to plot on stealing the most famous dream-catcher in the city. It was owned by the second richest man in town—an antique freak.<p>

The plot was ready before midnight. He put on his costume, ready for the action.

The security system in that mansion was installed by his father's security company, just like any other big houses he'd ever broken into. No matter how many times the company tried to renew the system, he could always break into the house with no trouble, since the system was just like another cheap trick to him. He'd been proven as a genius and his father himself had admitted that.

It took him less than five minutes to reach that man's bedroom. The dream-catcher was hung on the top of the golden headboard. That man, who was well-known for being superstition, was snoring loudly. His sleep was so tight, didn't expect that the next morning he'd wake up only to find his house had been broken into and lovely dream-catcher had vanished.

Red-X sneaked into the room and closed the door behind him soundlessly—he'd paralyzed the whole security system successfully that none of the alarm rang and none of the infrared worked, they were all turned off smoothly.

He tiptoed quietly toward his goal for that night—the dream-catcher was a hand away; that was when his heart started pounding with victory. That always filled his chest every time he was about to steal something—the feeling of a mixture of triumph, satisfaction, and fulfillment. It was the greatest feeling ever for a thrill-seeker like him; a reason why he loved this job.

Once he had the dream-catcher in his hand, he put it into his pocket. He glanced at the owner, who was still sleeping soundly, and raised his eyebrows. He didn't want to risk having this man awaken by teleporting himself from that room—the button sometimes created a soft sound when pushed.

At least he'd planned his traditional escape, as neat as normal—the window. Since the infrared that was activated around the frame was already dead, he could use that as an exit. He was fast, climbing the windowsill the way he usually climbed Raven's. He opened it carefully, just enough for him to go through it, before closing it from the outside.

He sat at the windowsill, staring at the vast pool that lied from just below the windowsill until the far wall across from him. That man was an avid swimmer.

He couldn't jeopardize his safety by teleporting from there, too, so the wisest option was to reach somewhere safe before doing it. Somewhere dry. He had to cross the pool and got out of the house, but he didn't want to swim.

It wasn't that he was a bad swimmer—he was good, really good, that his teacher offered him to get into the national championship when he was still in junior high school, but he refused since he loved basketball more. He just didn't think that swimming in his costume would be a good idea since the fabric would absorb the water fast and that would add weight to his body. Besides, leaving trails of water wouldn't be wise either.

Red-X looked around—the closest dry place was the deck, but it was really far and unreachable without getting himself into the water. So the only way where he could ensure he'd reach a safe and dry place to teleport was by walking on top of the high wall that separated the house and the other house. If he could walk across it and reached the far wall across the pool, he'd get to the main road.

He smirked—he got a device installed in his shoes. It would enable him to walk on top of the wall without having to worry he'd fall. He'd be like Spiderman. Good thing that genius man didn't have electric wires on top of those walls—perhaps he'd thought the burglars wouldn't be able to enter his house from those walls because they'd end up falling into the pool.

And the pool wasn't the kind of pool children would play in. The deepest part of it was 8 feet deep.

He jumped and reached the wall, climbing on top of it. He activated the device and stood there, feeling more balanced than ever. With that device, he didn't have to be a stunt actor like the Boy Blunder to walk on top of that wall.

"Not so fast, burglar." A voice stopped him when he was halfway toward the main road.

That familiar voice, again, surprised him. He murmured a curse under his breath—after months of never encountering her on one-on-one, why did he have to get that chance again?

But Red-X didn't back up. He turned around, his feet were still perfectly glued on the wall. He swallowed as he faced Raven, who was floating in the air with her black ball surrounding her like some soap bubble. He was disadvantaged with having nothing to land on but a line of wall, which meant he couldn't leap here and there like he usually did. His chance of winning was so small—unless he could make Raven do hand-on-hand combat, which was improbable with his current position.

"Hey, Sunshine," he smirked, sounding as playful as he normally was. She looked serious, and deadly. Just the Raven he always missed in a battle. "Long time no see."

The last time he saw her face to face like this, and alone, without her friend, was when he stole a kiss from her. He hoped she wouldn't kill him because of that this time.

"Yes. I see you're getting better in stealing—just like how I get better in combat," she informed him. "I've trained more, and I'd like to see if I can win the match this time."

"Oh, really?" he chuckled. "You listened to my advice—I'm flattered, Sunshine." He then realized that something was wrong with her—she looked paler than usual. People would probably never be able to tell, but he knew Raven too well to notice that. He tilted his head to the side, trying to not leak too much concern in his voice, "Anyway, you look pale. Getting sick, Sunshine?"

"None of your business," she hissed.

She flew swiftly toward him, sending him the chill of the wind when she attacked him. He was fast, dodging her kicks and punches, with his feet still glued on the top of the wall. The tool worked well, luckily, so he could move with such speed on such a small place to step on.

"I see you've developed some skill," he giggled, avoiding another kick and black energy sphere she threw on him. He ducked again when she threw that for the second time. The black ball missed and vanished into the empty air.

She attacked him again, the punches and kicks were faster than he'd ever remembered that he barely evaded a kick. She'd proved her words. He parried the attacks as much as he could, but one or two blows were so near to putting him off balance. If he fell, he knew, he would be an upside down hangman, having his feet glued on the wall while his head was on the bottom.

He realized that he was cornered. There was no other way but to distract Raven for a while so he could make his escape.

He didn't want to do it—he had never wished to, but he had to. So he tried to catch Raven's motion, calculating when she would give the opening for an assault, just enough for him to knock her down temporarily. When he got his chance, he gave her a punch, a decent one, but he swore at that time that he wanted to kill himself—he hurt Raven, and that was the last thing he would ever want to do. But the situation didn't give him any more choice.

He thought she would lose her balance but would still fly. It wasn't the kind of punch that would knock someone unconscious, he was sure, but apparently, his assumption that Raven was feeling unwell was true. She passed out, her body flew in the air like feather for a moment, before she lost herself completely.

She dived with a freefall, straight into the pool.

He gasped in shock. The depth of the pool wouldn't make it impossible for someone to drown in it. Thinking of that possibility made something in his chest clench painfully.

"RAE!" he shouted, not considering if that would cause him to get arrested or anything. He simply didn't care. He didn't care about anything but Raven.

Losing her, literally, was never an option.

He jumped right away to her rescue—he didn't think; it was instinctive. He couldn't think of anything but Raven and her limp body, sinking deeper into the dark water.

The pool was cold, freezing every inch of his skin as the water seeped into his costume. His body felt heavier and heavier as he dived deeper, following the girl's body and the dark cloak that tailed her body like really long dark hair.

Red-X panted and swallowed some water—the deeper he swam the more he felt strangled. There was no air, of course, and what bothered him the most was his mask, which also supported the suffocation since it got tighter and tighter. He ripped off his mask, revealing his secret identity.

As he tried to reach Raven, he started imagining if he couldn't save her on time—it would be more than just a nightmare. It would be suicide. His realization of that brought him to keep diving, although there was no more oxygen left—although his lungs felt like burning, full of water. He didn't care if he'd die, as long as Raven was saved. If Raven left him because of this and he still lived, he knew he wouldn't be able to live with himself.

After a short time that felt like years, he finally got a hold on her wrist. He immediately wrapped her in his hug and swam skyward. When he got his head out of the water, he desperately gasped for air and coughed out the water.

Matt brought her to deck and laid her on the dry wooden floor, pumping her chest to get the water out of respiration system. While he was doing that, he was completely overwhelmed by the possibility of Raven leaving him to the other world. His tears went down his cheeks, warm between the cold water from the pool.

Pumping her chest didn't do much good, so he tried hard to remember how to do the mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. He was desperate—the last time he learned it was when he worked as a lifeguard on a beach, few years ago. He opened her mouth and sunk his lips against hers, sending some air to provide artificial respiration. He hoped it would work.

When she at last coughed and spilled some water out of her lungs, he couldn't be more relieved. Raven blinked, amethyst eyes met his own eyes, without his mask as a barrier between them. Matt smiled. It was about time that she knew who he was—and he couldn't care any longer of what Raven might think of him when he was without his mask.

After all, being judged as a bastard would be much better than having her leave him forever.

Those eyes were still amazed when he decided that he'd better leave as soon as possible, before the titans spotted his unmasked face. He smiled at Raven bitterly as she was still coughing and spilling out water again. He got to his feet and made his run with the dream-catcher in his pocket.

His goal was achieved. Another glory, but he didn't feel like he'd won.

* * *

><p>Raven blinked her eyes, realizing that whoever had saved her had left. She was alone, on a deck with wooden floor, soaked and trembling. Her throat smelled like chlorine and her lungs were still burning.<p>

She hoisted herself, looking around. Her friends were still occupied by other heists that were happening at once tonight—it had been a very busy night. She didn't understand why Robin had assigned her the task to stop Red-X.

Speaking of Red-X, she still wasn't sure that he was the person who'd saved her. But when she spotted something that was floating on the pool—the black mask—she knew that it was him. It was the boy that she'd always loved despite a bastard.

She sighed. She had failed in stopping him, again, but it didn't feel as bad as it should be. At least she was still alive.

He could've just left her to die and gone away with his new dream-catcher, but he didn't. She appreciated him for that.

Raven hugged her legs to stop her from trembling. She closed her eyes and rested her forehead on her knees, trying to recall the blurry image of the face she'd been dying to see since more than two years ago.

He was dark haired and pale. He was shivering. He was panicking.

That was all that she could remember. Knowing Red-X had the capability of being panicked because of her, though, sent warmth into her chest. Knowing he probably thought of her more than just an ex made her feel that she wasn't alone in going through that feeling.

The sirens of the police car drew closer to that house, causing Raven to lift her head. She couldn't just stay there and think about her ex. She got to her feet—she got explanation to do for the house owner and the police.

She wobbled a little as she walked toward the backdoor, and just before she touched the knob she remembered something. She turned around and levitated the mask toward her, pushing it into her pouch.

Perhaps—just perhaps—the man who owned that mask would come to her again someday to claim that mask.

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><p><em>One more chapter! :D Thanks for reading and reviewing! I love you all :3<em>


	7. Chapter 7

_"What's so good about picking up the pieces?_  
><em>None of the colors ever light up anymore in this hole."<em>

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><p>Matthew Voltair was standing before his full-length mirror, admiring not the muscular body he'd built for years, but the tattoo engraved on his right chest. "Raven" was written there in cursive letters. It would stay there forever, just like how Raven would stay forever in his heart. His mind was made up.<p>

He didn't care about anything but her—if it was his identity that she wanted, he would give it to her, despite the resentment that she would later feel after knowing that he was nothing but a mindless alcoholic playboy.

He understood that perhaps Raven would still choose Robin over him, since Robin wouldn't hurt her the way he did, and probably Robin would show her his real identity, too. It was probably too late, but he wanted to give it a try. He didn't want to regret it later in his life if he didn't give it a shot—he'd never know unless he tried.

He dressed up as Red-X again that night, without any intention to steal anything. If there was anything he would die for to be able to steal at that moment, it would be Raven's heart.

Getting into Raven's room quietly wasn't a great deal for him. Just a simple lock picking skill and he was in. He closed her window once he had landed quietly into her room, so that the cold night wind wouldn't worsen her cold. He crept toward her bed, sneaking into her blanket. He ignored a part his mind that told him not to be such a creepy stalker.

He watched her as she slept peacefully, and when she trembled, he decided he would steal the chance to hug her, providing her with the warmth he knew she needed.

He smiled beneath his mask. She slept within his embrace—that was more than enough. Perhaps Robin wouldn't like it if he found out that his enemy was there on Raven's bed, hugging his girlfriend. But Red-X didn't give a damn.

Raven opened her eyes when she thought she heard someone's calm heartbeat, beating rhythmically nearby her ear. She also felt the comforting warmth that came not from her blanket but from human's body. She also believed she recognized the kind of fabric she slept on—it was sure not a part of her bedcover. It was something elastic, like latex. Like something someone she knew so well would wear.

It was the owner of the mask, coming to claim what was his. Raven was startled, immediately hoisted herself. She met a white skull staring back at her right away.

"Red-X," she whispered, shocked. "What are you doing in my bed?"

Red-X smiled. Raven could see his lips moving beneath that mask.

"Hello, Sunshine. Feeling well yet?" he asked. His robotic voice sounded like music to her ears—so familiar and soothing in a way she couldn't possibly explain.

"I'm fine," she said, blushing. She sat a little too far from him, but no matter how much she wanted it, she couldn't just move closer to him.

He sighed and sat against the headboard. "Yes, of course you are," but his voice wasn't as sure as how Red-X would usually be. He sounded so tired for Raven. "You're a living heater, aren't you? Because you're _hot_, literally."

"Why, thank you," she replied calmly. "So, what are you doing here in my room?"

"Oh, just came to give you a free hug. No big deal," he smirked. The mischievous Red-X was back and Raven felt her heart fluttered.

"That's so kind of you," she smiled sarcastically. "But I didn't expect a free hug from you, Red-X, since you're an _enemy_."

He chuckled. It was a bitter chuckle, and he felt pathetic. "'Course not. You expected that I were Robin, didn't you?"

"What—"he lifted his hand as a sign for Raven to stop. He didn't want to hear the answer—he wasn't ready to get hurt again.

"Rae," he sighed. The mischievous Red-X was gone in a flash. Now he was the gloomy Matthew Voltair—the guy who couldn't move on. "Rae, listen to me." And she complied, paying Red-X her full attention. "I don't care if you're already with Robin. I just came here to… give you what I should've given you back when we were still together."

He reached his neck and grabbed the end of his mask, pushing it up to reveal his pale skin, the lips she used to kiss, the fine-boned nose, the blue orbs she'd never had the chance to meet clearly before, the perfectly arched eyebrows, and finally the dark hair which was plastered to his head due to the mask. He ran a hand through his hair and looked away. He didn't want to meet her eyes—not yet.

Raven didn't let her face leak how surprised she was to know that the boy she'd ever been with for years was Matthew Voltair. Of all the guys who existed on the earth, why would it be Matt Voltair? Why would it be that bastard? She didn't get it. But she didn't want to be judgmental just yet—Red-X had come there just to show her that he was nothing but a jerk, so he had to have a good reason for that. No one would go around flaunting their weaknesses without real good reasons. So she waited.

"I'm sorry, I'm actually just an idiotic criminal, an alcoholic playboy, a former drug abuser," he said, looking at the mask he was holding on his lap. "Even by reading the news you could tell that I wasn't loyal to you when we were together—I cheated on you with uncountable number of random girls I met in the bars and clubs. I'm so sorry for that. It's—the reason why I didn't show you my face earlier."

Raven didn't answer him and there was this awkward pause in the conversation. He finally decided to meet those amethyst eyes, but he couldn't decipher her feelings just by staring into those eyes. She was always an enigma for him.

He cleared his throat uncomfortably and reached for her hands, clutching them so tightly because he wouldn't know if it was his last chance.

"I know I've been unfaithful and I'm probably the biggest and dumbest asshole on earth," he continued, "but Rae, no matter how many girls I've tried to replace you with, and no matter how many times I've tried to forget you, nothing seems to work. It hurts to see you're no longer mine. It hurts to see Robin replacing me. It hurts to… think about last night, that I might actually lose you forever. It killed me inside. I didn't believe such bullshit like real love existed in this world, and I don't like being sentimental, but Rae, I don't know what else to name this feeling."

Another moment of silence took place until she realized that he had done with the talking. But she didn't immediately speak, indulging herself by letting him hold her hands longer. She didn't care if he'd betrayed her at a point of their relationship—the only thing that she could remember was his panicked face after he'd saved her. It showed her his true intention—that he wasn't only a jerk who always played girls. That he was actually something more.

Raven smiled vaguely. "I don't know where you got that idea about me and Robin, but Red-X, you're probably wrong about that."

"Y—You mean—"he stuttered. A wild hope started growing within him.

"It's a shame to admit, but maybe I'm still infatuated with my ex," she shrugged.

He moved so fast that she could barely catch his moves, and the next thing she realized was that she was already in his hug again, and she felt her hair was being pelted by kisses. His heart throbbed faster than hers did, and she felt it through his costume.

When he was done with pouring kisses on her, he just stayed there, hugging her tightly. He didn't want to let her go ever again. He huffed quietly and whispered to her ear, "I love you, Raven. I love you."

Raven smiled, wrapping her arms around his back.

When they finally let go of each other, Matt leaned toward her again and this time, his lips met hers again after the long hiatus. He smiled as he moved his lips adeptly around her lips, assuring himself that it wasn't just a dream. That it was real—it was a dream came true.

Now there would be no more nightmares.

When the kiss was ended, they just stared at each other, with Matt grinning happily for the first time after months.

Raven smiled back at him—it was a rare smile, but whenever it came to Matt, she could easily form it. As if her only purpose to be born was to be happy.

She locked her eyes on him, and within those blue eyes, she saw no more pain—all that was written there was a simple forever.

* * *

><p><em>So, that's it. How do you think? Love it? Hate it? Please do write even a very short review, I'd really appreciate it. I'd really like to know what people think of this story. Best fanfic I've written so far, in my opinion. Not that I've finished many stories, though. :P<em>

_Thanks for reading! I love you all! :D_


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